Pleas Sur, hears sum bazaar riteings of @tbadrick and other Twitter Homophoniacs.


Creighton is an assumed name used by the Liberal Party network to hassle pro-Labor Tweeters by sending them trojans. The cover is that of a pleasant bucolic family type who tills the soil as he listens to ABC Brisbane, a well-thought facade of a most devious and dangerous organization.

Another work of art by the mentally challenged Julian Creighton ‏@JCBOONAH, 21/11/2013:

Did Indonesian apologize for killing journalists in Timore??? Oh ,,,,murdering people doing their job must be OK
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Julian Creighton ‏@JCBOONAH

Sage advice “allways drink up stream from the heard”

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And yet another one from the challenged Julien:

Julian Creighton ‏@JCBOONAH

Pups at Katherine N.T.any one won’t one?

He is offering a pup. I won’t take any.

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Les Johns ‏@LesJohnsLes

@JCBOONAH “Dear Please don’t tweet. Me again!’!” * Ignorance can be cured, stupidity is forever* r u homophoniac?

Two comments in response to this observation by its protagonist.

No one with connections to has eluded to any…

@TBadrick 3 Dec

Without delay @rupertmurdoch should direct @dailytelegraph editor to keep @barryofarrell accountable for CSG desicration of #Pilliga forest.

Timothy Badrick ‏@TBadrick 31 Oct

Regarding #CSG development in #PilligaForest @barryofarrell do you intend to create laws to protect this forest sanctuary from obliveration?

Who the hell does @LesJohnsLes think he is? Lord Muck? His Most Holier Than Thou? I think FWIT Mc. Talk Through My Arse is a better name Les

Timothy Badrick ‏@TBadrick 31 Oct

@LesJohnsLes Go away Les you bitter, twisted old fool, i have never attacked you about anything, obviously you are jealous of me you twit.

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This one on 15/05/2014 “…No one with connections to @whitehouse has eluded to any…”

The under Twitter comment comes from a chap who means well, and while hundreds of Twitter blockheads need public ridicule, I don’t intend to expose this fellow.

Wondering why Libs want debt sealing raised.. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-11-28/transurban-and-the-business-council-talk-to-the/5123916 … #lateline biz .. sell all public assets ..

Sealing the debt is much like reigning it in, I suppose, but the sealant might give way. I would stick with ceiling.
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@thebirdman1010…So I take it,when it comes to #TheirABC your going to do a @BarryOFarrell = 3/5ths of SFA ?

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When we need them most ALP seem hellhound to once again self destruct really doing his best to loose next election

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Below is an introduction to grammatical errors from an unrecorded site to whose publishers I offer my appreciation for their insightful material.

For two weeks we highlighted phrases that are written from what people hear, sometimes with amusing results. A reader asked: “Aren’t all those [examples] mondegreens, like ‘very close veins’ when ‘varicose veins’ is meant?”

Yes and know.

Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines a mondegreen as “a word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung.” It’s best used when what was misheard is poetry, song, or other literary/artistic endeavor.

Some of the rest of such misheard phrases could be “eggcorns,” or “malaprops,” or “spoonerisms.” All four of these are incorrect renderings of something heard or spoken. The differences can be subtle, and no one highlights those differences better than Grammar Girl, Mignon Fogarty. She writes:

•Spoonerisms are what you get when a speaker mixes up sounds, making phrases such as better Nate than lever.
•Mondegreens are what you get when listeners mishear words; for example when people think the song lyrics are Sweet dreams are made of cheese instead of Sweet dreams are made of this.
•Eggcorns are what you get when people swap homophones in phrases, such as spelling hear, hear H-E-R-E instead of H-E-A-R.
•Malapropisms are what you get when someone substitutes a similar-sounding word for another, such as He’s the pineapple of politeness instead of He’s the pinnacle of politeness.

The oldest of these is “malaprop.” A 1775 play introduced a character, Mrs. Malaprop, who often mixed up words in long phrases (as in the “pinnacle/pineapple” example above). The first etymological use of “malaprop” was in 1814, The Oxford English Dictionary says, and it was “verbed” in 1959 (though you might be accused of misapropping a word if you malaprop it).

Mondegreen, as we’ve said, appears to have been coined in 1954, when a writer recounted her mishearing of an old ballad. But it didn’t make it into most dictionaries until much later.

The word “eggcorn” traces to 1844, according to the OED, when people miswrote “acorn.” But its etymological use goes only to 2003, when a discussion on the venerable Language Log suggested its use. An “eggcorn” phrase usually has some logic to support it, as in “right of passage” instead of “rite of passage.” “Eggcorn” still does not appear in Merriam-Webster, though it is in The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language.

A “spoonerism” is the only one of the four phenomena where new words can be formed, by transposing syllables of others, as in “I had tee many martoonis.” More often, the transposition results in real words used nonsensically or humorously (“troy bout scoop” instead of “boy scout troop”). Named for the Rev. William Archibald Spooner, who died in 1930 and was famously prone to tripping over his own tongue, “spoonerisms” can be found in colloquial use as far back as 1885, The OED says, though their first documented use was in 1900. Some “spoonerisms” have become words themselves, as “bass-ackwards” did in 1930 (though to be fair, that may have been a deliberate alteration to avoid having one’s mouth washed out with soap).

You’ll notice that in some of those, the speaker has misheard something, while in others, the speaker is misspeaking. But they can all be miswritten as well. When they are, let’s call them “malaspoondecorns.”
If you’re caught in any of these, you can always fall back on Yogi Berra, and claim “I really didn’t say everything I said.”

The absolute best spoonerism I was ever present at the creation of was when an Episcopal priest in a church in Elizabeth, N.J., took the opportunity to congratulate another congregation in the same diocese — in his exact words, I swear — “on the erection of their new lector.”

Some delightful balls-ups are coming up. Their quaint illiteracy replaces those gorgeous “don’t fuck with us” instructions that olden-days garbage-dump Nazis pasted whenever a rule was breached. The progeny of these slower people went on to greatness by holding stop/go roadwork signs or admitting their failure by becoming entrenched police spivs. Habitual Tweeters might recognize the frequent offenders. An earlier post that would appeal to literary masochists can be found on “Twitter Bird-brains.”

Mark Harrison ‏@boffincentral 28 Oct

@Qldaah If you’re going to be a crook, where a suit, not a bikie patch. @JarrodBleijie is winning
—–
Timothy Badrick ‏@TBadrick

@crikey_news @TheKouk What do you think of this article @joehockey? It eludes to u making a storm in a teacup over australia’s economic policy.
—–
Mark Harrison ‏@boffincentral
@Qldaah If you’re going to be a crook, where a suit, not a bikie patch. @JarrodBleijie is winning
—–
roy harvey ‏@barnbrack
waiting with excitement to see your next masterpiece of word structure LES Bet your delving into the old OXFORD dictionary l

Les Johns ‏@LesJohnsLes
You’ve made ‘your’ a possessive adj. when meant 2B contracted to you’re (you are)Using apostrophe here ties in w/ phonetics.

—–

1. @barnbrack TO MAKE CAMERAS THERE WORTH WHILE VOLUME IS THE ONLY THING POLITICIANS THINK ABOUT NOT LIVES AND POLICE MUST FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS
2. Les Johns ‏@LesJohnsLes 4 Apr
If you want to be seriously regarded as a sage, do your fans a favor and have an educated mentor vet your gems before despatch.
3. roy harvey ‏@barnbrack 4 Apr
Read your header John Seems that TWEETERS ARE MORE OR LESS DUNCES AND IDIOTS Yet you are replying to us what’s that make you
4. Les Johns ‏@LesJohnsLes 5 Apr
It makes me despair that an oracle can so contract a word into apostropic use and shout assumptions, has roy harveyno idea of his ignorance
roy harvey ‏@barnbrack 5 Apr@LesJohnsLes Les the exhuberance of your verbocity exceeds me overwhemingly

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Chris Reynolds ‏@thebirdman1010 1h
One would imagine the ADF investigation into what started the State Mine Fire,will conclude right after mankind has resettled on Mars.
For a place to be “resettled” it needed to have been earlier “settled.”
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Chris Reynolds ‏@thebirdman1010 1h
Have serious misgivings about the promotion prospects of the Corporal that …said…FIRE!!!…Co,s no way was it an expensive officer.

What is “Co,s” all about? If it’s meant to be in the vernacular or cutesy for ” because” it doesn’t cut the mustard. Had I been so inspired, I’d have gone,” ‘cos or ’cause.”
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Julian Creighton ‏@JCBOONAH
Just got home from Boonah State high! Where @Angus_beef_ ( my son) won a great sports award! Itself accomdemic awards in 2 weels

Chris Reynolds ‏@thebirdman1010
@PetefromHayNSWpete….not used to phone … Didn’t mean to but in:…cheers

Timothy Badrick ‏@TBadrick 13 Oct
Everything that can be done must be done @theqldpremier to ensure this water feature isn’t desicrated.
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The sheer overall semi-literate style of the next exchange by this Boonah-claimed site marks it as stage-managed. During the election campaign, I received a trojan from this tag, warned not to open, I returned it unopened and suffered no pc damage. Another pro-LNP twitter site, sounding like @birdman and using the same distorted punctuation, especially the semi-colon, delivered me a trojan which, once again I returned unopened and had no drama.

Julian Creighton ‏@JCBOONAH 10h

Good to see a Boonah boy,,being @ScottBuchholzMP. As whip In today’s Parliament sitting @612brisbane

Les Johns @LesJohnsLes

@JCBOONAH Illiteracy of this tag prob a rabid, Pyke-generated @LiberalAust setup who sent anti-Labor trojans during campaign.Don’t trust. – 11 Nov

Julian Creighton @JCBOONAH

@LesJohnsLes. Please don’t tweet. Me again!’!”

Hope this little collection of grammatical howlers amused you for a few minutes.

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